You got me a what?

So about the time Grampa made my yard inescapable (I'm still looking for the way out), Momma noticed I started getting eye goobers that runned down my face. So she said I was 'lergic to something. I don't know what 'lergic means, but I think it means eye goobers that runned down your face. Anyway, she started giving me 'lergic pills, except I wouldn't take 'em like a normal dog. So she had to put it in meats for me to take them. And even then, sometimes I would bite them in half and she'd have to give me more meats.

So when we went to Gramma and Grampa's house, I gots good foods. And all of a sudden my eye goobers stopped. So Gramma thought it might be my foods. Well, Momma agreed and the other day she took me to the big puppy store that I gets to go inside and bought me new foods! It's yummy. She also got me a new foods bowl for my new foods. I like my foods so much that yesterday before breakfast, I decided to feed myself and put my head in the bag and started eating! Well, Momma heard and came and dumped my foods in the special foods safe. (It sits on the floor and I can't figure out how to get into it yet to get my foods, but I KNOW my foods are in there.) My foods now comes with pictures of other puppies in it. Momma says they're trading cards. Momma says that if I keep eating my foods, she'll send my picture in and I can be on a trading card. Any one wanna trade with me?

The other thing Momma did while we were at the big puppy store was she bought me this awful thing. She calls it a nose collar. I call it annoying. Every time Momma puts it on me, I have to be goods and listen. I don't like it. Not one bit. I try to get her to take it off of me. First I try to use my paw and itch it off. Then Momma took me for a walk with it on. I don't like it at all. Every time I didn't listen, it pushed my nose down. So I tried to pretend I hurt my paw. Maybe Momma would take it off. I really did have a little rock stuck to it, but it didn't hurt or nothing. When Momma finally takes the annoying thing off, I have to shake my head because it feels so weird. Momma says it's like what Willow wears. I don't know how she does it. It drives me nutty!